Heje mainchem cazar… (untranslatable Konkani humour)


Arnold Noronha copied this mail to Goanet and me, saying “the source of this yarn is unknown”.

Our friend from Moira, Juze Bostiaum, appeared on Kaun Banega Crorepati, the famous ‘Amitabh Bachchan’ hosted show. Juze had miraculously reached the end of all the rounds by saying all his Rosaries & Novenas and finishing all his feni. “You’ve done very well so far,” said Amitabh “but for Rs. 1 crore you’ve only got one lifeline left – Phone a Friend. Everything is riding on this question…will you go for it?” “Sure,” said Juze. “Aum ek last chance marta!”

“OK….. The question is…. “Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? (a) Robin, (b) Sparrow, (c) Cuckoo, or (d) Crow”

“Heje mainchem cazar… I not knowing dat,” said Juze,”so better use my last lifeline and phone to my friend Pedru Pochok (Actual name: Pedro Pacheco) from Mumbai. He is Goenkar, but he is a Bandra boy and born and brought up in Mumbai so he’s too smart -real shaana buggar.” Juze called up his friend in Mumbai, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.”Arree Baba Anton!” cried Pedru, “Sarko Endo Mure Tu, Simple it is…it’s a cuckoo.”

“Ah-vois, sure mure Pedru?” asked Juze.

“Arrre baba hundred percent sure re! Pakka!”

Juze hung up the phone and told Amitabh Bachan , “I tell Cookoo.”

“Is that your final answer?” asked Amitabh Bachan.

“Sarkem Sure murem, Sir!”

There was a long, ???????..long pause,????????. then Amitabh Bachanscreamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Juze, you’ve just won Rs. One Crore!!!”

The next night, Juze threw a big party for all the people from Moira at the Moira Club. Pedru was specially flown in from Mumbai as the Guest of Honor for helping him win the jackpot.

At the time for speeches, Juze takes the mike and asks Pedru, “Saang mure, Pedru, whotold you? How you know cookoo is not building its own nest? Otherwise you are sarko bondo and you know nothing about birds…. Your Fadder or ticher (teacher) taught you ah-what???”

“C’mon yaaar! Baskya! What yor saying?” laughed Pedru.”You Goan Paos are sometimes such daffars men…. Everybody knows a cuckoo lives in a clock.”

Very interesting! I found it real funny! Vaguely remember coming across it before. My cluttered undefraged brain is understandably just forgetful. But has it got more embelleshed with time? That would be interesting. Maybe Arnold could call for a contest with a Re 1 prize on to see who can garnish it even further. The Cecil Pintos would be banned, though. 🙂

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